The Happy Jerk Off Monkey

   It was the brisk fall of 1999, when a few of us went to Atlantic City, New Jersey, to partake in two activities we love (drinking and gambling).  While we were on our search for cheesey sunglasses and naked lady cards, we discovered a store that sold these interesting products.  On top of a glass display shelf, there was a "Happy Jerk Off Monkey" and a "Happy Jerk Off Clown".  To tell you the truth, Clowns just scare me, but the monkey...  We turned the crank, and he began to dance.  He jerked his way into our hearts.  One spilled rum and coke, two four of a kind hands at "Let it Ride", and one person going to bed at 10:30pm later,  and two of the monkeys were brought to NOVA. 

   One of the monkeys still remains in Northern Virginia, and now, he has not only become our mascot, he has become our rating system.  Perhaps one day he will become yours.